Cracked

 We have almost no power all day, all night, we will maybe get 2-4 hours of power a day…if we are lucky…for the last week, and there is no telling how long this power situation will continue for. The power situation has slowly been declining since we arrived. So, being short on water, and on power, it’s hard to get some things done around the house. Take dishes for example. Thankfully our stove/oven is gas so we don’t need to rely on electricity to cook, but cooking is difficult when there isn’t water to clean dishes afterwards, and no power to see by anyways in the evenings. So our dirty dishes have been stacking up. And the lack of power and water are things out of my control completely. That’s the most difficult thing, because I can’t change the situation. I can’t make Phin’s heat rash go away, I can’t make the fans run during the night so we can sleep. I can’t make the water pump pump water. I have no control.

This has been a definite learning season for me, as I learn more and more every day to lean on, and rely on, God. His power is infinite. His strength is more than enough to carry me through hot sweaty days with no power and no water and a small child with really bad heat rash. It is not a power company that runs my life, it is God. I want my life to be filled with Him, I want to be more reliant on His power to carry me through each day. I am learning to be more adaptable and am trying to have a moldable heart as He walks beside me during this hard time. And always provides what we need.

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I look in the mirror

And I can see the cracks

Not in the glass

But in myself

I have no control

The hardness of circumstances

Pressing down on me

Causing me to fracture

Only one thing holds me together

Only one thing carries me through

My God

My creator, my friend

The one who loves me despite my incomplete mess

Is the one who made me whole

He is healing the cracks

He is molding my heart

He is transforming me

To completeness

In Him alone