Today was the last day of our garage sale…what we didn’t sell, we donated. Over the next couple of days, we will be sorting the few things of ours that remain into boxes that will either a) be used until we leave for Africa and then stored or b)things that will go straight into storage.
When selling everything, there are always those few things that you can’t live without, the tangible memories that need to be kept and cherished…even it that only means knowing where they are: tucked safely away ,in a box, in a loved one’s extra storage space.
The last 3 days have been difficult for me. Deciding which things to sell and what to keep, not so much, but sitting by and watching people sift through all of my memories, picking and choosing what thing is worth asking about, and then either paying pennies for it or throwing it back…it hurt. It was hard not to tell buyers the sentimental stories attached to each and every item.
When God opened the door for us to go to Africa, for me, the excitement far outweighed and pushed aside any other feelings…finally it was time to step into the calling on our lives! And, to be honest, I decided to push down any feelings of loss until we left (if I could).
This weekend that sense of loss became a reality for me, as I watched all my things being sold for pennies to complete strangers. I know that answering the call of God to go means sacrifice…and I want to be completely surrendered to his will for us…I was not expecting it to be this hard, and hurt this badly. I mean, this weekend was all about selling (almost) everything in preparation of leaving the States to embark on our journey to Africa…and I cried when everything got hauled away, and that was just stuff. Right now, I can’t even imagine the depths of grief I will feel when we say ‘goodbye’ to our family and our friends for the next 2.5 years.
And we sold everything on faith. Our monthly committed support is still only at about 22%. It needs to be at 100% by September 29th, that means we are praying for about $3,400 in committed monthly support to come in within the next month and a half. We believe that we are called, in this time, to go. And we are believing that our Provider will handle the finances, that he will bring our supporting sending team together in his perfect timing. Our faith is growing as we come to rely ever more on God, especially in this time of excitement, stress, joy, sadness, grief, and hope.
my hope is in only one
he is the joy of my heart
when i look to out the window
and see only uncertainty
and when my joy turns to sadness
the consistency of him reminds me
that he is all i need
he restores my heart to joy
for through every query
he is steady
always with me
i need not ever fear