This last week has been really hard.
Seraphina’s second tooth came in, and brought with it a pretty rough fever, followed by a full week of the “not feel goods”. I’ve also come down with a bit of a head cold this week, and Melissa has been run ragged taking care of the two of us.
Add that on top of our already crazy lives, combined with the questions and doubts that we struggle with as first time new appointees raising support to go serve overseas for the rest of our lives…
Needless to say, sometimes we feel like we’re running on empty.
When this happens in life, my “go to” is usually junk food, games, or a tv show where Melissa and I can just tune out and not worry about the burdens of life. Lately, however, it seems that that sort of coping has almost become a daily occurrence. I’ve been running on “Empty”, but my efforts to fill up my tank are not working as well as I would like.
As I was working the other night, I was thinking about this situation, and a scripture came to me. In Hebrews, the author says that He,
“For the joy that was set before him endured the cross” (Hebrews 12:2, emphasis mine)
He didn’t make it through crucifixion on Chic-Fil-A and “The Office”. He wasn’t running on circumstantial happiness, but rather he had a joy that sustained him no matter what came.
I know that in my life, when the baby is screaming, or I’m super stressed out because I feel like I’m behind at work, or behind in raising support, it is easy for me to lose sight of the big picture and the joy that I have in the Lrd. There is a joy in my heart because the Lrd is in my life. There is joy because of my beautiful wife, wonderful baby girl, and this calling that God has laid on our lives. It is an immense blessing and responsibility, and there is such joy knowing that the Lrd will bring hope and healing to those who do not yet know him.
When I stop trying to run on my own steam and instead take hold of the joy that is already there for me, I find that my gas tank is no longer empty, because He sustains me beyond anything I can do on my own strength.